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The idea behind this new beverage, apparently, is to imitate the taste of regular Coca-Cola ("Coca-Cola Classic," as it is still sometimes referred to), in a low-calorie formulation. Until relatively recently, I had assumed that this was what was attempted with Diet Coke, but no. Perhaps the flavor of Diet Coke is the legacy of the long-lost New Coke formula? A question for the ages. On further reflection, perhaps this product is the offspring of "C2," the half-diet version of Coke that was introduced...what, last year? Earlier this year? (I forget the precise year man first walked on the moon, as well.)
The concept of Coke Zero (to use the familiar diminutive) being the flavor twin of regular Coke was only recently revealed, being absent from early advertising for the product. The bastardization of the classic, Barry Manilow-penned Coca-Cola jingle, wherein the world now needs to be taught to "chill," combined with the word "Zero" in the name (presumably one-downsmanship on Pepsi One, a fierce salvo in the Cola Wars), had led this writer to think that perhaps Coca-Cola Zero was a new guise of caffeine-free Diet Coke, with a snappy new name. It seemed we were being told, "Enjoy your diet cola, and, in the absence of caffeine, remain calm. Chill out." One glance at the listing of ingredients dashed this theory, though: caffeine, plain as day. And then the ad agency minds charged with the multimillion-dollar task of informing the public about this product changed their message, finally realizing (presumably) that it might be wise to tell people what to expect from actually drinking the stuff, with the added helpful subtextual message of "if you drink this product, you are not gay."
Being game (and caffeine-dependent, and avoidant of the extra sugar intake), I have tried this new cola. In the tasting, there are more questions than answers. Has it really been so long since I have had a regular, "Classic" Coca-Cola that the flavor should be so unfamiliar? Does regular Coke also immediately greet the nose and palate with such a spice-cookie sting? Am I tasting clove, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger? The Coca-Cola Company's cultural hegemony over modern Christmas imagery, their invention of the "traditional" red-and-white Santa Claus costume, is well-known. Could it really be that America's favorite year-round soft drink is really, at heart, a Christmas pudding in carbonated, and, now, calorie-free liquid form? (mike.12.05)
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